Guelphissauga #3: NIMBY Name Calling News

In mud-slinging NIMBY news, the Property Developers Orcs wrote an attack piece insulting Guelph City Council for respecting the 6-Storey Rule of the Ward and constrained residential growth. The article labels Councillors and concerned citizens as NIMBYs, after Mayor Guthrie's favourite dismissive acronym. Like a trained/paid parrot, the author recites numerous times that “Council and the NIMBYs need to admit” they were wrong for refusing the Skyline Tower of Sauron and the Whitelaw Forest Development. 

Throwing in the “classism” label, the author says “you all are in favour of development, but you just don’t want it where *you* live. Guess what? Neither does anyone else.” In fact, this consistent pattern shows Guelph's overwhelming resistance to residential over-development. If no one in town wants the Skyline Tower, then City Council shouldn't approve it. The people don't want it anywhere in town, not just away from their backyards. City Councillors such as Leanne Caron Piper, James Gordon, & Rodrigo Goller made the correct choice for Guelph by putting the voice of the people first.

What do you think?
How many times a day does Mayor Guthrie say NIMBY?
Can you make a drinking game from it?

Guelphissauga #2: Whitelaw Forest Saved

The Fellowship of Guelphissauga continues after Monday's standoff with the Property-Developer Orcs. In a meeting lasting longer than a Lord of the Rings movie, Guelph City Council discussed the proposal to build Skyline's monolithic tower. But downtown was not the only target for the residential zoning blight. Using a classic pincer move, the P-D Orcs simultaneously pointed their shovels at Whitelaw Forest.

Leanne Caron Piper rallied the Fellowship by stating the 25-storey building's “height is of significant concern”. Issues around the building's small 550 to 650 foot apartments and the 30-50% smaller building width were also raised by other Councillors. The main opposition was to the tower's height breaking the longstanding Rule of the Ward of keeping building heights below 6 storeys. Sadly the strength of the Fellowship's numbers weakened when it came to the support of Councillors Bell, Downer, and Mayor Guthrie. Even though they initially stated to be against 25-storeys, they hinted at flipping their vote for a lesser 12 to 20 storey building as they have with other repeated building proposals

The Skyline Orcs were prepared for the People's resistance. Calling in backup from the Guelph Business Association and Chamber of Commerce, the NIMBY Orcs praised the monolith's proposal by dismissing the Rule of the Ward as antiquated and out of date. They added on by saying a 6-storey building would be unprofitable. When James Gordon raised the dilemma about the friction between the people's will and corporate profit, the NIMBY Orcs hit back immediately and told him to “do his job”. Hopefully James Gordon makes the right choice and picks People over Profit.
Meanwhile at the other end of town, the P-D Orcs took a second shot at paving over Whitelaw Forest. This time the Fellowship gathered quickly to protect the sacred forest. As usual, P-D Orc allies Mayor Guthrie and Bob Bell voted in favour of the proposal. With the Fellowship gathering the support of Coucillors O'Rouke, Billings, & Hofland, Whitelaw Forest was protected from the residential zoning blight.

What do you think?
Can the Fellowship withstand a second wave attack from Skyline?
Will City Council respect the longstanding 6-storey Rule of the Ward?
Will Mayor Guthrie and Rodrigo Goller flip sides in the second round again?

Guelphissauga #1: The Tower of Sauron

In local monolithic news, a new sequel to The Fellowship of Guelphissauga is coming out Monday February 10th. This time around, the Guelph City Council is facing a proposal to build the Tower of Sauron to lore over Guelphissauga. Will the Fellowship of James Gordon, Leanne Caron Piper, & Rodrigo Goller be strong enough to stop this monolithic monstrosity?

It will be a perilous journey for the Fellowship as the Property-Developer Orcs are rallying their troops with their NIMBY counter-arguments. Funded by the new visitor parking fines at Solstice 1 & 2, the PD Army is ready for battle. The Fellowship may require extra help to defeat the NIMBY Orcs. Perhaps they can summon the Ent of Whitelaw Forest to rally the local hippies, hipsters, seniors, and nature itself to stop the Army of Property-Developer Orcs from building the Tower of Sauron as an idol to their residential zoning blight.
 
Live screening downtown Monday February 10th.